Those of you who know me well (namely my husband) might know that I'm not the best at planning, though it pains me to admit it. I CAN be, but I need to start months in advance... and so I'm sitting here with Finley crying at my feet, hoping we won't be late for our appointments this afternoon, rushing to finish a short post that I did actually start two days ago. What can I say? How do you sum up a whole year of life, of heart expansion, of meltdowns (and I'm not talking about Finley), of growth, of extreme annoyance, judgement, judging, and ultimately the overwhelming longing to be a good parent? A year ago today, my life changed dramatically. At first I resented the change, and then I slowly realized that the Lord was using motherhood to sanctify me. It's been a painful yet beautiful transformation of my being turned from selfish to selfless. I have gone from being blissfully ignorant to brokenly aware of the evil in the world. Nothing is the same once you're a mother. The Holocaust is no longer just a horrific historical event I leaned about in school; it's something I cannot bear to even imagine enduring. The thought of someone or something like that ripping my family apart and leaving me potentially helpless to protect my child from the hands of those who could crush his fragile life literally knocks the breath right out of me. Motherhood has brought me to a place of unbelievable vulnerability, but the Lord says, "My power is made perfect in weakness" and in that I rest my hope.